Here’s my take on Spring Break:
I’ve never actually gone on an official Spring Break to the traditional, warm location. People generally migrate South for their experience and indulge themselves in all the trappings of a warm, Southern lifestyle. Mainly, boozing, bathing suits and bad decisions. That being said I have the pleasure of going to Orlando on an epic adventure with 7 of my good friends. I had just about given up on trying to experience the token trip to the land of milk and honey while on break, but instead had the great fortune of knowing 7 people who take pity on me enough to let me kind of hang out with them from time to time – kind of. So they asked me like, “What are you doing for SB?” and I was all like, “Oh, you know…nothing much. You?” And they were all like, “Well if you came it’d be cheaper for us all to pay for gas so, you want to come with us?” And I was all like, “Oh…yeah, that might be fun.” I’ll use Jennifer Connelly to express how I calmly and cooly expressed my interest (gratuitous simulated humping):
In reality though I’m like FUCKING DISNEY WORLD MOTHER FUCKERS! I’MA TALK TO MICKEY AND MINNIE AND THEIR DOG PLUTO AND RIDE FUCKING SPACE MOUNTAIN UNTIL I PUKE AND ACTUALLY DRINK BEER AT EPCOT!The best part is that we’re about 20 minutes from the Magic Kingdom from where we’re staying and about 5 from Pleasure Island and downtown Disney. Take a look at our digs:
Apparently this place has something ridiculous like 7 pools and 9 outdoor whirlpools (hot tubs). So now that I know what this place looks like and have tabulated all possible events based on cash, time and distance I’ve come up with the following list of activities to have a working itinerary for my trip.
- Go to Disneyworld (Magic Kingdom/MGM or Epcot…or all of them)
- Be drunk on “It’s a Small World”
- Get a picture with Mickey, Minnie and Pluto
- Go to Pleasure Island for a night
- Spend an entire day in the sun doing sun-related activities
- Day drink in one of the 7 pools
- Use the oversized whirlpool in the room as a giant, watery drunk tank for a late night sesh
- Get completely lost by myself somewhere in Florida, hopefully outside of Orlando and get friends to go on a rescue mission
- Grill meat all day
- Find other Spring Breakers and spend as random of a day as possible with them.
Plenty more to add as I think of them. Any suggestions?